The Daily Grind and The Pursuit of Happiness

Happiness. It is the one dire wish of every living soul. As I, along with everyone else, set off in this pursuit of happiness, it has led me to a few personal conclusions along the way. Happiness is hard. It is natural in our childhood, allowed by the presence of innocence and freedom, but as we age, our burdens become thick and heavy, knowledge at times, weighing down like stones. We get busier and become lost in our habits and our routines as adults. Every smile, a habit. Every good day, a habit. On and on the daily grind begins to grind away. Side tracking and draining us. To challenge this rut, I forced myself to slow my day down and process my surroundings more throughout my day.  I believe that as adults, happiness, first has to be a choice, an effort. We live in a hectic, demanding, tragic world that keeps our brains over processing and overlooking and plain just too damn busy. It is up to us each to slow ourselves down and find simple moments of happiness in little things. When you start to look for the little things to bring you a sense of happy, you find that it is an easy thing to achieve. It is the little things in life that truly do shine the brightest, and the things that render themselves most silent, are actually shouting the loudest. If you allow yourself the time to recognize something lovely in your day, you will see that its been waiting for you to see and to listen all along. I have worked hard every day to really keep up with keeping myself in the present and I have found an encouraging benefit to arise. Now part of who I am is to notice the little things and so many of them happen everyday I find it very easy to find so much happiness each day I breath. Granted, bad things still do definitely get me down, sometimes hard, but because I have worked to find simple happiness it makes me a whole lot stronger for the stuff that is a burden. So, no matter where you are in life, in dark corners, riding the wave, or flying high, look for something in your day that brings you a genuine smile….then let it happen.

Gone Fishing...a short story

…I think we all have secret dreams we carry with us beyond our childhood, of true love and destiny, yet as we age, they become more our secrets than our dreams….
 ……………………………….....................................................................


It’s funny how things work out. I will never forget the first time I laid eyes on him. My world, my life, became that moment. It was the moment we all dream for in this life. The moment that changes everything about life as you know it.

A few months ago….

Armed with boots three times the size of my feet, waiters ten times the size of me, and my fishing pole, I set off behind the man I was fast falling in love with. He was dressed as I was, although a much less comical version. We were headed to The Swift River, which having never been myself, really meant no different to me than we are going to a river. I was about to try my hand at fly fishing again, the last time having been more than 15 years ago with my father. It was obvious, needing only to look at my attire, that I was incredibly unprepared for this event. Choices of love, I chuckled to myself as I attempted to keep upright in this ridiculous outfit. I was thankful that he was ahead of me, so that he was unable to watch my exaggerated steps over the tall grass as we headed deeper into the woods.  As luck would have it, it was not a long walk to the rivers side. I slowed as I realized he had come to a stop, but not soon enough. “Crap!” I thought to myself as my fishing pole poked him in the back of his head.
“Sorry!” I called out with a laugh. Grace has never been one of my strongest assets, and provided I made it thru this date without accidental injury to myself or him would be what I considered prayers answered. With the patience of a saint, he just grinned and waited for me to close the distance left between us. I could hear the rest of the group from somewhere beyond the trees, but could not make visual from where I stood. I stepped cautiously to his side and awaited further instruction.
With a smile that leaned on the side of a smirk, he laid a gentle kiss on my cheek and said, “How you doing, babe?”
 I laughed as I visualized myself thru his eyes.
 “Still on my feet so, so far, good.” 
Taking my hand, he led me to the bank and despite finally finding the source of all the voices, I was momentarily distracted by the scene that met my eyes. Across the river nestled in perfectly to the background was the most quaint little cottage I had ever seen in my life. Come to think of it, I am not sure I had ever seen a cottage in its true sense like this before. Its back deck was centered to the width of the house and appeared to be set second story from behind, which was the view I was currently taking in at the moment. In truth, it rested ground level, with long wooden beams that reached down into the rivers edge, giving it the presence of resting over the river rather than meeting it at its bank. The cottage itself had an old earthy brownish gray tone of color to it, which only enhanced its perfect place in this little twist of the Swift River. To the right of the cottage was a line of wooden posts with white twinkle lights draped sweetly across them, as if to light an unseen path to an obvious garden at its end. The sound of what I could only define as folk style blues music drifted softly across the river and met my ears. What an incredible place, I thought to myself as I took it all in.  The loud voices of my new friends pulled my attention back to the edge of the bank in which I was standing. While I had been admiring what was ‘the usual’ to them, they had in the meantime been taking in my attire. I looked around at the boys. Which in truth, were each grown men all in the ripe stages of twenty something, yet the atmosphere and the freedom of fishing obviously brought out the boy in each of them. They must have had a stash of belly warming liquor somewhere along the bank because each of them was wet from the waist down, forgoing waiters and fishing it good old redneck style. Granted, it was still summer, but the rivers water kept a frigid temperature year round. Eric and I were the only two of the bunch that decided to ere on the side of comfort. Although to claim comfort at this point would be quite a stretch of the definition for my case. Anthony, Ant for short, the pack leader of us, shall I say, gave me a once over and I saw the swirl of comments brewing behind his eyes. Surprisingly enough though, and despite three mildly to severely intoxicated guys, minimal attention was actually brought to my over sized waiters and clodhopper boots. Just a hearty laugh in the end. I felt Eric’s hand wrap tighter around mine and I turned my attention at once back to him. Of course, he had a big ridiculous grin on his face, and I knew the moment had come to step into the water and get going on this fishing attempt. Jeez, the things I get myself into.
“Where do we go in at?” I asked him as I surveyed the edge of the bank. To me, it did not look like there was much of a safe spot to enter, but then again, most aren’t as grace challenged as I am so nothing looked inviting in my eyes.
“Over here, follow me.” He replied as he squeezed my hand and turned to maneuver the banks slippery edge.
“Oh dear God.” was about all I got out before my first slip. Oh well. At least I made it down to the water in one swift klutzy step. Thankfully, his grip did not weaken and I regained my balance quickly.
“Careful” he cautioned to me.
“That was me being careful.” I laughed as I looked at him. I paused then to scan river bottom and get my bearings about me before proceeding. He motioned to me to follow his hand with my eyes.
“See how you can see the sand path in between all the river weeds and where it drops off to deeper water? Stay right behind me and stay to the sandier areas and you will be fine.”
I looked at him with a wrinkled face and replied with only a huff. Easy for him to say. The deepest parts of the river still seemed to only reach about to the neck but waiters just don’t go that high and the water was ridiculous it was so cold, and if one of us was going to take a dip, it undoubtedly would be me. I briefly thought maybe I should ask for a swig of their belly warming liquor, first, so that I may have an excuse if I was to go under, and secondly, so that I may not care so much if I did. Looking at Eric though, I felt my trust in the truth of his words, so I took a deep breath and ventured into the waters behind him.
Mistake number one. Boots that do not fit. As my feet submerged under the water, the weight of my over sized boots doubled. Trying to pick my foot back up felt like trying to lift an anchor with a thread. The first few steps I managed, but as the water deepened I realized mistake number two. Despite the fact that I had cinched all the extra fabric of the waiters with a belt, it did not seem to provide an upper hand in the least against the current of the river. I rather felt like a flying squirrel that had extended its arms to parachute itself down along the breeze. The material suctioned around my legs under the water but above that it billowed out and despite huge effort, I seemed to suddenly slow to a snails pace behind him. I wee belled and wobbled my way along, having lost grip of his hand due to the balancing  dance I was doing. Talk about a bull in a china shop. I splashed so much it would be a miracle if any fish even stuck around to be caught.
“Careful” Eric echoed his caution once more.
“Trying to be” was all I could respond with mostly due to the simple fact I really was trying to be so careful, I was just not succeeding it very well.
He turned and back peddled a few steps to stand beside me.
“Here, hand me your rod.” He said as reached out to take it. Handing it over, I watched him as he unhooked my fly and unwound line from the spool. With a quick flip of his wrist he sent the fly out a few feet into the water in front of me.
“Ten o’ clock, twelve o’ clock” he demonstrated to me as I watched. Despite the effort I was making to pay attention to his lesson, I was, as usual, distracted by how absolutely adorable this man was. Short, sandy blond hair, styled messily but very metro, and the most beautiful green eyes I had ever seen. Some days when I looked into them I could see little orange flecks scattered throughout. The summer sun had tanned his skin to the creamiest tone of honey golden and it made his already striking eyes pierce that much more. He was such a stark contrast to me. I, on the other hand, had much darker brown short, bobbed hair with blond highlights scattered throughout, and big brown eyes. My skin carried an olive tone to it year round, although the sun had deepened the color drastically.
“You got it?” he asked as I quickly refocused my full attention back to his words.
“Ah, sure” I replied, taking the fishing rod back into my own hands. Giving it a flip of my own wrist, it did not take me long to realize this was going to be a bit more difficult for me to achieve than him. The line did not extend smooth as it did when he showed me and after one back and forth motion I had managed only to tangle it up and make a knot with no hands.
“Ah, sweetheart?” I shrugged sheepishly as I held my rod back out and waited for him to untangle the mess I had just made in under 3 seconds.
Taking it back with a laugh, his enduring patience shined through once more.
“Its ok babe, here, I’ll cast this one out for you and then you try again from there.”
“K” I replied, but as I reached to take the pole back into my own hands, suddenly he jerked it in an upwards motion.
“Look babe! You caught a fish! Pull on the line and keep drawing it in towards you.” He said excitedly as he held his hands over mine and guided me through the reel in. I freaked.
“Whoa, not so fast, keep the fish in the water!” he instructed between laughs.
“Guys, Robyn caught a fish!” he hollered downriver to where the rest of the group had moved on to.
“I most certainly did not!” I argued in response.
“Yes, you did, babe.” he replied sternly and with a wink. Apparently it was of the utmost importance to claim this fish in case I was unable to hook another, therefore avoiding hassle from everyone at the end of the night. Quietly, I agreed to go along with his white lie for the moment, but in my own mind, I refused to count this one as my own catch. I wanted to hook one all by myself and only then would I claim success.
“No shit, did she really?” I could hear Ant counter from farther down the river.
“Is it a big one?” he asked as he splashed his way back out of the river to come check it out.
“It’s decent” Eric replied as he pulled the fish out of the water to show me.
“See babe? You did good!” he said to me with a crooked grin that screamed kid in a candy shop. Despite the white lie, I couldn’t help but break into a big smile just from watching the excitement on his face. I really am falling in love, I thought to myself as I felt the blood in my veins warm and heat me from the inside out. Carefully, he unhooked the fish and dropped his hands underwater, waiting for the fish to reclaim its wits and swim away. Ant, Dale, and Bart all were headed back to where we stood, echoing praises the whole way. I had to laugh as I watched them approach. I had not known them long at all, maybe a few weeks at the most, but already I had grown fond of each of them. Ant, Eric’s best friend, is a marine, and watching him in his daily life, it is easy to see that he has served his country. Loyalty runs deep in his veins, along with fearlessness. His no nonsense attitude is one I appreciated right off the bat. I will forever be a fan of what you see is what you get. Keeps things simpler in life. Bart, I find to be so easy  to get along with, yet the one I know the least about.  I am forever curious with him, and in this handful of friends, his European flair stands out, making him noticeable and unique. His personality is of a softer nature, yet immediately, I had found him to be a much more private individual, always friendly but time is obviously the only way to understand the inner workings of this man. And Dale. Dale, Dale, Dale……Sweet as pie, but destined for disaster, both accidental and intentional. All the while, sporting a classic grin that screams he couldn’t be happier living his life moment to moment. Ant is a wild child, but an instigator in the sum of things and Dale always seems to be the one carrying out Ant’s ridiculously crazy ideas. Bart, is then always standing by, ready to chronicle the event and provide the sarcasm that elevates the event from funny to downright hysterical. Eric holds the position of mediator, the voice of reason within the group. He is the core. Combined, you are destined, without a doubt, to have nothing less than an adventure every time. For me, the newcomer from Georgia, I already felt like I had found home with these new friends. Each one carried a heart of gold and that in my book, is the foundations for the kind of friendship that you carry with you all through life. Maybe moving to Massachusetts would be even better than I had originally imagined.
“Hey Robyn, look over there. See the beaver?” Eric said, distracting me once more from my thoughts.
“Really? Where?” I replied, instantly interested.
“Look over there on that log” he pointed out and I heard and spotted him almost at the same time. He was busy working on the dam he had obviously called home for quite some time. I could hear his little teeth chewing through the wood as he sat lazily near the banks side, but just out of reach of Ant, who had heard Eric’s comment and was now searching himself for it.
“Where is he, Eric?” Ant questioned as he looked blankly across the river, having trouble zeroing in the beavers position, which I was actually thankful for. God only knew what his mind was cookin’ up if he actually found him.
“Move to your right a little bit and look down and to your left.” Eric answered much to my dismay.
“Oh shit, there he is! I see him.” Ant laughed as he tried to find a way to get closer. Startled, the beaver hopped of the log and down into the water. I was completely fascinated by it until he turned and headed in my direction.
“Eric, oh my God, he’s coming towards me! What do I do?!” I was frantic and felt trapped as all I could do was stand there and stare helplessly as he got closer and closer. I’m sure it didn’t help that my overactive imagination started in with the jaws jingle that sounds when the shark is closing in.
“ERIC!” I repeated allowing all the stress I was feeling escape through my voice.
“He won’t hurt you, your fine, babe.” he said calmly, although I wasn’t ready to trust him, despite the fact I knew I could.
“Are you sure?” I questioned.
“Yes, he’s not gonna bother you, I promise.” he laughed as he watched my frozen stance.
“Okay” I replied hesitantly. So, I stood and waited, heart pounding in my chest, but holding my position and having faith in his words. I watched, with wide eyes, as he swam within arms length of me and suddenly I realized how ridiculous my fear had been. As I watched him, my fear was fast replaced with an aw, he’s so cute attitude and in that moment I decided he was my new little buddy. Well, maybe little is a bad choice of words. This guy was all kinds of fat and happy and he swam in lazy circles nearby and gave an impression of it’s a wonderful life, the life of a beaver. Later trips back to the river found that he in fact did have a wonderful life. A family of three, so it seemed, with a youngster to keep them busy each day. To Eric and I, they became Gus and Bonnie, although jury is still out on the youngsters name thus far.
With the beaver no longer within reach, Ant’s interest faded quickly and I watched as he made his way to the other side of the beavers dam and back to the spot he had originally claimed for fishing. Deciding to give casting a try on my own, I was pleasantly surprised when my line extended beyond what my first attempt had landed me and I settled back in to watch for the next bite.
“Are you good, babe?” Eric asked as he met my eyes.
“I think so, why? Your not going far are you?” I fretted momentarily.
“Not at all, just over here a little so I have room to cast.” he answered with a sweet smile.
“Oh, okay.” I smiled in return, and with that he stepped cautiously a few feet away from me and cast his own line, every now and then, glancing over his shoulder and flashing that dazzling smile my way. As I stared at my line drifting away with the flow of the current, and with Eric now a safe distance from me, I recast. Not exactly pretty, but hell, it was getting the job done and that was good enough for me. Not much seemed to be happening after that first bite and it did not take long for me to drift off into my thoughts once more.
After some time Eric turned and made his way back over to my side. We had been quietly fishing for a good 15-20 minutes by now, listening to Ant and Dale go back and forth at each other as they waded thru freezing water, with the occasional humor from Bart, who had given up and was now sitting somewhere on the side of the bank. I couldn’t see him so whether or not he was actually still fishing I had no idea.
“Wanna go down there where they are?” Eric suggested to me. I hoped he did not take my daydreaming to be boredom. I was perfectly content, staring at my fly, although not really seeing it, just taking in the pleasant atmosphere that surrounded me. I was slightly upriver from Eric, which allowed me to study him unnoticed and in this position I could sit for hours regardless of whether another fish ever took my fly again or not. Curiosity won out though and I agreed quickly. I wanted to see what was on the other side of the beaver’s dam anyways. He offered his hand once more to me and together we made our way out of the river and down the path to where Bart was sitting. He was no longer fishing, instead he was tearing up pieces of grass and throwing them into the river in front of him.
“What happened?” I asked him as I watched his obvious boredom.
“Shit, that water’s to damn cold now that the sun is going down. Fuck that.” he replied matter of fact to me.
“Hmm.” I said and left it at that. Ant and Dale were quite a ways out in the water, which was just blowing my mind because with the sun going down the air was no longer humid and the chill I felt settling in was more than enough to keep me out of the water had I not had waiters on. On this side of the beavers dam I was able to see the path of the Swift River better and I realized that the cottage I had immediately fallen in love with had even more left to discover. On this side I was able to see that it was set perfectly in the bend of the river, so regardless of being in the front or the back, both sides were surrounded by the river itself. Strange looking yard art cluttered the property from this view and despite not being real sure of exactly what type of stone oddities I was observing, it still blended in such an appealing way that it didn’t seem to matter, the effect was still lovely. Dusk had arrived by this point and I couldn’t see the river bottom as clearly any more, which left me slightly nervous about maneuvering my way out to meet Dale and Ant. As I surveyed the scene, I realized that neither of them was doing much fishing. They were instead, arguing the best spot to fish, over here, no over there, while trying to find their way in this almost dark, which left them susceptible to taking a full dip in these frigid waters.
“You guys finally decide to make it over to the where the real fishing’s at?” Ant teased as he noticed we had arrived. I realized now this must have been all the commotion I had been listening to while Eric and I had been on the other side. To funny.
“Whatcha think, hun?” I pressed Eric. I was beginning to lose interest in  fishing. The bugs were beginning to come out in full force and were fast becoming an annoyance to me.
“Lets give it one more go and then we’ll call it a night.” he decided as he looked out towards the water.
“Ok, but I’m not going to far out. I can’t freakin’ see a thing!” I countered.
“That’s fine. I just want to try a little more while there’s still a hatch.” he explained and obviously hoped for my patience. I fell into step behind him and after slipping over a log I did not see, I decided to hold my position, while he drove further out into the water ahead of me.
“Damn these mosquitoes!” he complained as he swatted continuously to keep them away from his face. From farther out, I could just make out where Ant stood and then noticed Dale was finally calling it quits and making his way in, frozen to the core. Obviously it was time for another shot, since he was able to feel the fact that he was cold as hell, and Ant obviously was on a final mission to dominate the Swift and have his story of a great catch before the night was over. From where I stood, I felt safe, so I unhooked my fly as I had watched Eric do earlier and cast. Damn it, I thought to myself as I snagged the bank behind me.
“Are you serious?!” I complained to myself as I crawled my way back to the bank to untangle my mess. Not being able to see a damn thing, I got mad and yanked it as hard as I could, sending my fly whizzing back by me with what looked to be like some sort of weed flailing behind and landing nearby in the water. Well, that was easy, I joked to myself as I appreciated the fast results of instant aggravation.
“What’s wrong?” Eric asked me as he heard my commotion.
“Not a thing. I’m good again now.” I replied with a grin. Recasting with more caution to what was behind me, allowed me a satisfying cast and I settled in once more.
“I can’t see my fly, Eric.” I complained as I swatted at the mosquitoes, aggravation ringing clear as my patience dwindled down to notta.
“Dark means you gotta feel it through rather than see it happen.” he explained to me with a laugh.
“Ugh” was all he got from me in response. So, I continued to stand idly by and hope to ‘feel’ a tug before it was all said and done. After a moment I became furious with the mosquitoes that were swarming around me, biting me, and quite frankly, aggravating the piss outta me. Swatting in a flailing fashion, I forgot that I was holding the rod in one hand and accidentally jerked the whole damn thing up into the air. Tug, tug, tug. The end of my rod bent and bounced and it hit me all the sudden like, Holy Shit! I hooked a damn fish! I laughed out loud as the fish jumped and splashed and announced for me that it was as good as caught. Eric moved quickly to my side, excitement written all over him even though I could hear it more than see it. I started cracking up as I finished reeling it in and waited for Eric to take hold of it to let me see and then release it back into the water.
“Oh my God, babe, I can’t believe you caught one all by yourself and in the dark on top of that!” Eric beamed at me with his infectious grin. This only made me laugh harder.
“Babe, seriously, I didn’t mean to catch it! I was actually swatting at a bug and forgot the rod was in my hand! I never even felt the tug, hell, I didn't even realize I caught it at first!” I explained, although judging from his grin that was shining despite the darkness that surrounded us, it was obvious to me he was not going to even acknowledge my explanation. The boy was to damn proud of me and nothing was going to deter him from enjoying his pride in his girl. There go those warm and fuzzies again, I thought to myself, as my crush on him peaked once again to the shores of love. He finished unhooking my catch and set it back into the water pretty quickly since visual was not going to be made easily at this point.
“I’m fixin’ to call it quits, baby.” I said as he planted a kiss on my cheek.
“Ok babe, do you mind if I go for a few more minutes?” he asked sweetly.
“Not at all! Knock yourself out! I’m just gonna move over there and sit down with Dale and Bart. Take your time. I’m good.” I answered happily as I returned his kiss with one of my own.
“I just want to give this corner a try and then we can head back to the car.” he reasoned with me although it was unnecessary. I turned and made my way back over to the bank, finding a nice sized log to plant my butt down on while I watched and waited. From across the river, I could hear Ant, ranting and raving about something to do with tying a knot that was obviously not going very well. So bad in fact, Eric had time to catch his own fish, and then another. Happy with his tally and sick of the bugs, he came and sat down with me on my log. Together we watched the drama unfold across the way as Ant narrated his projected catch, that is, as soon as he got his fly knotted correctly to his line. Somewhere in all this, he must have achieved this tedious goal because after a few short minutes he was hollering obscenities at the fish who had met his fate when he chose Ants fly as his prey, but excitement fast turned to dumbfounded, which was then followed by intense irritation.
“The son of a bitch took my fly!” Ant roared as he cussed the fish that obviously outsmarted him.
“He took my fuckin’ fly!” he continued to bellow as if this would change his current outcome. I started laughing and the more irritated he got, the funnier it became to all of us observing. There goes his grand plan to dominate the Swift. Instead, it was the fish who had the last laugh on this day. Once again, to damn funny. Knowing that Ant would soon be wading his way back across the river, due only to the fact it was now dark out and seeing to tie another fly would only result him in the same position he was in now, Eric turned to me.
“You about ready to go, babe?”
“Yeah, if you are.” I quickly answered hoping his response would in fact be yes. As much as I enjoyed watching Ant battle the river and his sly fish, I was cold, and the mosquitoes had already drank to their hearts content and I was not in the mood to continue to be an all you can eat buffet. I was done.
Thankfully, he nodded his head in agreement and once again took my hand and began leading me back the way we had come. I managed my way fairly well despite the inability to see. In no rush, we kept a leisurely pace back to the car, which allowed me to stay on my feet the entire way. Reaching the vehicle, he unlocked the doors and opened the back hatch and began to strip his waiters and boots off. I followed suit although I chose to sit on the ground to take off my enormous boots rather than risk falling over, which would likely happen if I tried from a standing position. I then unhooked the belt that held the mass of extra fabric and rose once more to a standing position to peel my own waiters off.
“Ah, that feels better.” I stated as I found my body under the mass of fabric I had just spent the last few hours in.
“Shit, I’m cold!” I complained as the air hit my slightly sweaty skin. My waiters are made of neoprene and the walk back thru the woods had generated enough body heat in my body, that left trapped, had produced a thin film of moisture across my skin. As if on cue, Eric stepped around to the driver’s side, put his key in the ignition and started his jeep up, twisting the knob to full blast heat. I smiled to myself as I observed how attentive he was to my needs. Never a harsh word, never a grumble of complaint, just smooth motion into what he knew would make me feel better. I love him. And there it is. I’ve crossed over from question to certainty.
“Go ahead and get in the car, babe. I will load the rest of this up.” he instructed me as he moved around me to gather up my mess.
“Aw, sweetheart, I can help.” I hesitated as I bent to pick my waiters up.
“No babe, go on and get warm. Go.” he stopped me as he took my waiters from my hands and stood looking at me until I conceded. With a smile and a thank you, I stole a quick kiss and did not argue further. Hell, I really was cold anyways and he seemed to truly be fine with me not picking up after myself, so I let it be and crossed around the car to my side and hopped in, anxious to feel the heat. After only a few minutes, his door opened and he was beside me.
“Are you warmed up, babe?” he quickly asked me. It was pretty toasty in here and perfect for my southern self, but this was my northern boy and for him, it was to damn hot. This I knew without him ever saying a word.
“Yeah, I’m good now.” I said smiling at him. He is so incredibly hott I thought to myself as I looked at him. I must have had the googly eyes, because I watched a softness appear in his eyes and he leaned in for a kiss. My heart thudded so hard I was momentarily distracted by it and had to quickly refocus so that my lips would remember how to work. I have never in my life been so taken with someone. Wow. His kiss was gentle and sweet and for a moment I thought I felt love. Could he be falling in love with me to? Could I really be that lucky? The track record of my life has always been a rather tough one. The things that made me happy generally disappeared or were lost. I wasn’t sure what to do with all of these emotions. I wasn’t sure exactly what I had in front of me yet either. The only truth I had decided on was that I was in love with this man.  I suppose I will forever be amazed that in this life it all comes down to a moment. A breath. A second. One second in a lifetime that changes the course of your life as you know it. Never had I experienced one of those seconds with such bliss attached to it.
After a moment locked in our tender kiss, he leaned back to look into my eyes. He had such a big grin on his face that it made his eyes smile too and instantly my own face lit up in reflection.
“I had such a good time with you, babe.” Eric said to me as he studied my face. Of course, I melted on the spot.
“I had such a good time with you to.” I replied, my voice slightly high, I noted, as I listened to my own response. Oh jeez. Now I sound like such a girl, I thought to myself as I absorbed the moment and its emotions. Settling back into his seat, he grabbed the bag of sunflower seeds he had previously been working on before we arrived and popped a handful into his mouth. I watched, as his mouth began to work methodically with his tongue to pry the seeds open to the eatable part inside. Sighing, I turned away from him and settled into my own seat, slouching down to a comfortable position.
“Are we waiting for them? I asked as I quickly realized he was making no attempt to leave.
“Yeah, just to make sure they get back here to the cars safe, then we can go.” he said to me as he spit a shell out the window. After a few minutes he apparently tired of waiting and after a “What’s taking so long” grumble under his breath, he sat up straight and reached to put his seat belt on.
“Giving up?” I laughed as I reached for my own seat belt.
“Yeah, I don’t know what they’re doing, but I’m sure they are fine. I am ready to go.” he replied as he put his jeep in reverse and started to back out to the road.
“Sounds good to me, I’m ready to veg and watch a movie or something anyway.” I agreed, slightly excited to finally get going. For the most part it was a quiet ride, both of us just enjoying one anothers company, when Eric’s phone rang thru the silence. I jumped a mile, having been completely spaced out just looking around at the scenery under the cover of night. Eric laughed as he answered and from listening to his end of the conversation I knew we were headed back. As Eric maneuvered his jeep around in direction we had just come, he explained the rest of the conversation to me.
“Keys are in my fishing vest. We gotta go back.”
“Oh shit, they damn sure are, aren’t they.” I replied as the memory of putting them there myself lit up in my mind.
“Jeez, I knew that to and just completely forgot. I’m sorry. I should have remembered that.” I scolded myself with a wrinkled up face. Duh.
“Babe, don’t apologize. I knew they were there to and didn’t remember either.” he answered me with a furrowed brow.
“Yeah, true.” was all I came back with mostly due to the fact I had no argument. He was right. We had only gotten about 10 minutes down the road, so we made it back pretty quickly. As we pulled down to where Dale’s car was, or whoever it belonged to, I had to laugh at the three of them hopelessly stranded and wet, doing what boys do, occupying themselves with irritating each other to pass the time and avoid the dreaded boredom that would surely arrive if they were to just patiently wait. Eric parked as I reached in the backseat for his vest and fished out the keys and handed them to him. Ant came alongside Eric’s jeep to retrieve them thru the window, cutting up the whole way over, never missing a beat. After another few laughs, we said our goodbye’s and started back towards home. The gang fell en route behind us and as I glanced in the side view mirror I saw their car swerving purposely behind us as God only knows what was going on inside. I giggled to myself, so happy in general with everything about my life current. As before, the ride was quiet. We settled in, hand in hand, smiling but silent as we soaked up the happiness of the day we had spent together. Arriving back at his house, we decided to leave everything in the jeep for the night. We were both tired and looking forward to a cuddle session and a good movie.
“How about a glass of wine?” he playfully asked me as his eyes danced with mischief.
“Absolutely!” I quickly replied. That sounded like the best idea I’d heard all day. Especially since I never partook of the stash the guys had at the river. He poured me a glass and then grabbed a beer for himself and motioned for me to follow him into the living room. We settled onto the couch closest to the TV and after a bit of wiggling around we managed to find comfortable. As if on cue to the found comfort, I realized I had no blanket.
“Hmmm, yep, gonna need a blanket babe.” I laughed as I noted what a pain in the ass I had just become having to fore go comfy in fear of getting cold.
“That’s fine, babe” he laughed as I started moving again to reach for a blanket. “I needed to get the remote anyways.”
“Sorry, sorry.” I echoed between laughs as I bumped heads with him. I had knocked this poor man in the head more times than I cared to count. It’s a miracle he continued to subject himself to my absentminded and clumsy abuse just to spend time with me. It must be love. I laughed again at my thoughts and the situation at hand and after a few funny grunts and a bit more squirming around, we once again found comfortable. I reached for my glass of wine and his beer where we had left it on the coffee table before we began our trip to comfy, handing him his as I sipped on mine. While we channel surfed, I ended up finishing my glass fairly quickly, enjoying the buzz the wine was fast producing within me. I set my empty glass back on the table. No longer needing to be propped up, I snuggled in close to Eric and turned my back to the TV. Following suit, Eric finished the last of his beer in a few quick swigs and reached over me to set his glass down next to mine. Now that his hands were free to, he returned my snuggle and erased any space left between us. The TV now a distant memory, I settled in to listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat against my ear. His body temperature was always blistering and had become a personal favorite of mine due to the fact that I am always cold. Especially with the drastic difference of having grown up in the south and relocating to the frigid north. He was my portable heating blanket. It wasn’t long before I felt the pull to meet his lips. Something about this moment stood out. It was in his kiss. I felt the depth of our emotion. His hand rested tenderly around my face, his fingertips brushing gently against my neck. Such strength in such a gentle hand. Softly, sweetly, he lifted my face closer to his. I reached with my own hand to his face, coming to rest in the curve of his neck while I let my fingertips brush gently thru his hair. So hungry for his kiss, I pulled him to my lips, and touched them against my own. Instantly the intensity of our kiss began to deepen. I could feel heat racing thru my body, tingling my fingertips. His arm wrapped around me as he pulled me in to fit the contour of his body. His touch sends fireflies of color bursting from behind my eyes. Stillness. My eyes flutter open as I sense the pause in our moment. I am met with his sweet face as he watches me with a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. I can’t help myself as my own face begins to reflect with a smile of my own. “I love you” he whispers softly to me. My smile reaches to each corner of my face and in a breathless whisper I respond, “….I love you.”  With that, his lips return to their hungry kiss and I slipped swiftly back into the colorful bliss of our lovers moment, lost in our lovers world…